Client retrospective recall of resolved and unresolved misunderstanding events.

Abstract

Client retrospective recall of major misunderstanding events was studied in 19 cases of therapy. A qualitative methodology was used to describe the sequence of 11 resolved and 8 unresolved misunderstanding events. Results indicated that a good relationship, clients' willingness to assert negative feelings about being misunderstood, and therapists' facilitation of a mutual repair effort through maintaining a flexible and accepting stance typically led to resolution. In contrast, a poor relationship, therapists* unwillingness to discuss or accept clients' assertion of negative reactions to being misunderstood, or therapists' lack of awareness of clients' negative feelings led to unresolved misunderstandings and often to clients quitting therapy. The ability of clients and therapists to survive lapses in understanding and to put these critical moments to therapeutic use has been extensively explored from a theoretical perspective (Bordin, 1979; Luborsky, 1983; Safiran, 1993; Safran, Crocker, McMain, & Murray, 1990; Weiss & Sampson, 1986). For example, Kohut (1984) suggested that successive minor lapses in empathy enable clients to learn how to negotiate separateness from their therapists in tolerable doses. Growth, from Kohut's perspective, is evidenced when clients progress from experiencing the most minor misunderstanding as a near rupture to being able to tolerate the inevitable disappointments and misunderstandings that occur within the course of the therapeutic relationship. The ability of clients to communicate openly about their experiences to their therapists when they feel misunderstood is seen as a critical juncture because clients must assert themselves as separate from their therapists if they are to preserve and authorize their own experience. Similarly, experiential and interpersonal theorists acknowledge the importance of helping clients directly communicate their felt experiences. An important part of the change process in experiential therapy is for therapists to help clients identify and bring into awareness what they are feeling at a given moment, including suppressed or unarticulated negative feelings (Greenberg, Rice, & Elliott, 1993; Mitchell, 1988; Safran & Segal, 1990).