The Relational Self: A New Perspective for Understanding Women’s Development

Abstract

In traditional Western psychological theories of development, the "self" has long been viewed as the primary reality and unit of study. Typically, the self has been seen as separated out from its context, a bounded, contained entity that has both object and subject qualities. Clinical and developmental theories generally have emphasized the growth of an autonomous, individuated self. Increasing self-control, a sense of self as origin of action and intention, an increasing capacity to use abstract logic, and a movement toward self-sufficiency characterize the maturation of the ideal Western self. Although most theorists have struggled with the issue of reification of the self, all have to some degree succumbed to the powerful pull to de-contextualize, abstract, and spatialize this concept. I will examine some of these models in terms of their limited applicability to the psychology of women and suggest an alternative conceptualization of self, a "relational self" or, as Jean Miller has suggested, a model of "being in relation" (Miller, 1984).